The Adventures Of Big Lips And Sheho

I’m back home now and have been for a while. Our finaly nights in bangkok were little drinking and souvenir shopping also a guy told my future but didn’t because he was awful. Hotel was nice. And then onto my flight home where I left sav which sucked but I got on an emerats flight with was super nice. Movie selection was good followed by an empty flight where I lied down and attempted to sleep but didn’t much then got home to see my beautiful parents waiting for me with a stupid sign we got coffee and chatted.

I spent the week chilling and seeing friends we went to the zoo.

Then I went to Spain for two weeks with the cousins and uncle mark/ aunty caz. Where I ate shit loads drunk rptones, read my books. Walked down a flight of stairs to be on the sea. It was amazing. One crazy night I a sheesh a bar with Liam and Shane included. Lots of drinks lots of sleep, a fishing trip where a caught a tuna! Some amazing breakfasts and one amazing crocodile movie.

Back home for a week then on to Latvia for the stag, I’ll hit that one up later

De nada

So on our first night in krabi we headed to a Mexican place called crazy gringos, we ate some decent Mexican food and tried every type of margarita on the menu. We listed to a cool band played old songs and also some wasted lad make out with his lady boy girl friend. We also watched our waitress get slowly wasted. Then the lad left and came back calming we stole his wallet but then blamed the guys next to him, we laughed and he kicked off. Great night.

The next day we sorted out our trips kayaking and the elephants and checked out the backhand town. Crashed early because we had to be up for kayaking. Glad we did the early one because there was only four of us and we missed the rain. Was super fun seeing the mangroves and apparently the place where the Pirates of the Carabian was filmed. We also met a monkey and fed him which was pretty cool. The guide was funny and we got some sweet photos. Napped for a few hours when we got back and only got up for some dinner before sleeping again.

The next day we could lie in and woke up late for our elephant trek which was miles away. But was supes worth it. As soon as we were there they shoved us straight on an elephant Geronimo (Jerry, Jeremiah, Ron, Ronald, Ronny, Mo, Morris). He was kind of a dick so we loved him. Speeding of ahead meaning he’d have to stop and wait for the rest giving him time to search the undergrowth for stuff to eat and he ate a lot, pulling down no less than 3 trees. When we got back we fed him some bananas and then washed one of the loser elephants which was super fun. The elephant was frigin loving it. That night we got pretty drunk as each place dished out free shots and on the third try we managed to get free Craig David’s. Sav vanished and I ended up getting locked out so slept in the hotel corridor for a few hours.

Following day we were super hungover so only went out for food. Next we headed for a day on the beach but the sea was dirty and we both got stung so we headed back to our pool where we chilled and had some drinks. Did our washing, packed and had another cool meal at gringos.

We were ready to leave at midday where we got onto a mini bus followed by a coach fooled by a boat and finally a taxi. Travelling is crazy busy. We arrived late but the gust house looked pretty nice and after sav fixed the air con it was perfect. We went to the place next door for dinner because sav could get the wifi in our room. The meal was good and we ate it on the beach.

So I was up super early and decided to go exploring. Found heaps of bike rentals, hostels and food places. We got some super cheap breakfast and then spent the day by the pool and also on the beach as there right next to each other. We saw some girl that looked super stuck up and then realised that we met her in Australia in February. (She was stuck up) we drunk some cocktails and then got into a conversation with a stoner guy who was maybe the most interesting person I’ve ever spoke to. He told us stories about his life, once he sold snoop dog weed that he smoked on stage, he spent three days at burning man where no one spends any money people just give stuff away and half of them are naked, he’s gonna build huts on an island and make a living, he whole heartedly believed in doing good things makes good things happen to you, even though he had been robed by two of his best friends he held no grudges. We ate yoghurts together and watched a wasted guy fall over in the sea multiple times. It was amazing.

We spent the day by the pool and was gonna see the waterfalls with German David and ozzy Rowan by crossed wires meant we never met them so we spent more time by the pool. (And apparently the waterfalls were shit). David and Rowan picked us up on there scooters around 8 and headed back to their hostel scooters were fun and pretty nippy. We had some beers and food at there place and met some of the people they did there tour with they seemed cool. We put on paint. We headed next door to a crazy hostel for a few more drinks then onto the full moon party. Where it was crazy, thousands of people dancing, many many buckets, a sleeping area. Fire skipping. Crazy lights, crazy people. I lost every one around 3 and stayed till 4:30. Got a taxi back but I had to hang off the back as it was pretty full. Great night. Spent the following day paying for it, only left the room to get food for dinner. Packing was hard.

More moving the next day but not so much. Got a taxi to our boat which for some reason was cancelled so we had to pay again. Met a cool lad on our boat who was moving to Melbourne so saved made friends for when she moves back, I gave him my mykey card, he gave us cookies. The place we were staying was in the middle of no where. The huts were constantly boiling with fans blowing hot air at you. The shower/tap/toilet hose were all hooked up to the same boiling hot water source. Luckily we met some guys just checking in who had had a bit of a crazy night in Bangkok, crack, ladyboys, alcohol and Valium. So they had to get out of there. We got some food with some of them (some passed out). The food was good and we were also with some strange boring American guy. We headed back with some vodka, with only me, sav and ‘Matty’ still on it. We sat on the beach because everywhere was dead and drunk vodka played stupid drinking games. He discussed his mates massive penis a lot. Headed back took some pills and passed out. Got a pretty amazing sleep.

Up earlyish because it was super hot and ate some food with the guys, then headed to the pool down the beach because our hostel didn’t have one. They’d only just started traveling so they wanted to play with their new waterproof camera. We spent the evening at the cool beach where it all happens. We ate at Pizza Hut which was pretty good but expenny. I got some pills for my head because there was a lot of talking. We went to an ozzy bar where I got bundi rum which is amazing. One of the guys 'Wilcox’ sang wonder wall with the band. We got some buckets at another place then headed into a strip club where we got felt up a lot and tried to guess with were guys until it closed at two. Bought more vodka and made friends at the shop. Headed to the beach where we played more stupid drinking games. Matty and Wilcox headed to bed, biked back to the shop with Adam in the middle of the night for more vodka. Swam out to the fishing boats as the sun came up. Got to bed at 7 woke up at 11.

More pool time with the guys, and decided to get a nice meal for our last one together. Then got some beer and made a fire on the beach. Matty spent the night in his room trying to find porn. Also the toilet flush was a bucket and the guys didn’t figure out how to use it for two days so there place stunk. Also they say Blozza. Which is pretty hilarious.

Checked out and had some brekkie. Said bye to the guys and started our journey back to Bangkok. It included a cab, boat, coach with a quick stop for some pretty decent lunch and wifi so I could talk to sarhs on her birthday the finally our over night train pm where I am now. I doubt I will sleep more than I did last time but we will see.

Goodnight I guess.

(Not to me, my weeks been pretty tame)
So I slept very little because it was like travelling on a shitty night bus. Rocked around a lot and hella noisy. We got off there at around 7 in the morning onto a coach for a few hours then onto a open air bus thing followed by a boat until we got to ko Phi Phi and out guest house on the opposite side of the island half way up the mountain. The journey took us close to 24 hours.

The following 4 days and nights were not crazy eventful. We spent our time eating cheap pizza, exploring the island which is tiny, it took us about 20 minuets to do a complete lap of it. We visited the beach where the sea was probably as warm as a bath. We spent one night drinking cheap buckets, playing beer pong and some German drinking game where you throw a bottle trying to knock over another bottle. It was pretty fun. We watched some people doing some fire show, we both lost our flip flops. We made some friends that we quickly lost,. We ate out and some cool places, like pirate bar, ate more Thai food. We ate heaps of Pringles watched heaps of Harry Potter, and drunk crazy amounts of water. So yeah we were pretty crazy on that island.

We got our boat back to krabi and got a cab to our hotel in what seems like quite a nice spot. We’ve explored the town a bit and are hoping to plan elephants and crap tomorrow after we’ve settled in.

Chi thia
(That’s Thai for laters… well it could be, you don’t know)

So our last few weeks in Australia were actually pretty eventful. A couple of days into a first week when we were looking for wedding outfits a little Asian lady pulled sav of the street asking her to be a hair model. Which was pretty funny, she said sav would be wearing a wig and when sav protested she told sav there would be no catwalk and you just have to sit there. I told sav she has to do it and we were whisked away to her studio where they put a wig on sav and told her she looked beautiful. We then had to go back the next day to try out makeup where they made sav look like a whore and I got mistaken for a model you know how it is. This carried on for a few days.

On Saturday we were there again but I was also getting a little drunk on the vodka we won as it was afl day. We got out of there pretty sharpish and drunk more and headed over deciding to back north melbourne because they are closest to home. Got hats and beer and hotdogs. Was a great game even though we got smashed. No hard feelings amongst fans it’s strange. Sunday up stupidly early for this hairdressing thing which we find out is actually kind of a big deal. Hundreds of people there. I sat around talking to the stylists who were actually pretty cool and eating free food. Sav did her but and it was all a bit crazy but it got sorted then they kind of made sav do the cat walk and she was shitting herself but it was fine but it was followed by a stupidly long awards ceremony. We got out of there. It was a long fun day and we made four real cool friends we are now in the HBIA BFF Club. We went out for a drink after.

The following week was spent winning the top prize in bingo again along with brekfast stuff and beers. We also met up with Jess, Shelby and Tiarny where we got wasted on the street waiting for a tram and at there house. Then we ran out of vodka so we had to hunt down a bottle shop in the middle of the night. We all got pretty drunk and stayed the night. Up the next day for a cooked brekfast and being hungover. We watched 8 mile and the Katy Perry movie. Are nachos and came home. Sav was very nearly sick.

Then we were off to Adelaide for aunty wendos wedding. Up real early and put our bags into storage. Flight was fine and easy, mikey picked us up and dumped us at wendos house where we got a nice relaxing few hours to ourselves and the dog. Saw lozza, fell asleep. Had awesome beers at the pub with nelsy and got a massive burger that I couldn’t finish then early to bed. Up again early to get ready for wedding and things. Started on the beers and went to the venue which was a castle. Drunk more from the free Bar ate loads of snakes. The ceremony was short and kind of funny so that was good. The meal was heaps too big couldn’t eat it all. Then back to the pub for another free bar and an awesome bar man who made sure there was constantly a drink in my hand. Amazing bar snacks. Then headed home around 12 for tea and face time sarhs. Then sav came back and I was convinced she was trying to steal my bed so I barricaded the door and got scared every time she tried to get in. Hungover all day Sunday and only got up for sterling chicken for dinner. Also to get nelsys coat and phone from the pub as he left it there. He was really drunk. Up early Monday for our melbourne flight and back to our old hostel.

Was only in melbourne a few days booking bangkok and having a few good bye drinks with half the BFF club. We also decided to go to every club we ever visited since being in melbourne (hello kitchen, joint bar, Carlton, rooftop bars, lane ways, elephant, ect) so we were super wasted met up with our old room mate tomo and the German guys when we decided to stay up till our flight. I passed out 2 hours before we had to leave but sav managed it. Mad rush out the door then to catch our planes.

Got to our hostel in Bangkok around 8 where we bought water and Pringles and slept. The following day we were up at a reasonable time to explore Khoa San road. Lots of cool stools and places to eat/drink. We went looking for a market but ended up at the the tourist information who helped us plan a trip south to the islands. Then we got a tuk tuk around to see the temple which was crazy high up and a massive Buddha. Saw heaps of monks too. He also took us to two tourist informations and two suit shops. Telling us to just have a look cuz then they pay his petrol. Was a pretty good day ended it by having a few drinks and some Thai food. Followed by more drinks and we met up with our German friends from melbourne. Hat guy and beard guy. We drunk even more and everything goes a little hazy.

Stayed it Bed the next day cuz we felt like crap and only left for some food. And met the Germans again where we got a whisky bucket off the street that me and beard guy split. It was gross because he didn’t want ice and only put a little coke in. Then we hit up the Jamaican bar for more buckets I swapped with sav because she couldn’t drink her whiskey one. I was very drunk we bought crazy hats and cigars. And a scorpion, I ate a claw hat guy ate it all apart from the stinger. Then we got a tuk tuk to the ping pong show. Ended up in a strip club me and beard guy blacked out and lost the other guys and turned up later on ko San road.

Following day we did nothing because we felt like crap lots of sleeping. Then next day was more exploring and chilli out and booking our trip south that spent crap loads of my money. The Germans said we had to go out with them for our last night in Bangkok so we agreed met them after we had some mean street Kababs drunk some cocktails and some more buckets at the Jamaican with there wasted ozy pal. Lots of walking down the strip talking to strangers and getting felt up, saw some cool street dancing, met some cool Americans. Definitely chased by some ladyboys. Every one was wasted. Ozy lad especially, he was stealing food from the street vendors while they yelled at him. We disscused getting tattoos and hair braids and got back at around 4.

Slept loads and only got up to pack, get food, and head for our train at 6. On it now and after a super delayed departure and a toilet that’s just a hole I’m currently lying in a fold out bed and will be for the remainder of our 12 hour journey. Where we get off and find our bus to krabi.

I’m out… Peace

Just a recap of our last few days with soho and how melbournes been treating us.

The last week with soho and his family was great, we went to the races and won money and I got real drunk and got made to down jaga bombs to keep me awake, we ate some more amazing food, we went on the hunt to print out a picture for them to remember us. We went to town to buy sohos family gifts and also got tattoos while we were there. We each got triangles cuz we cool and indie. Mines a little wonky but it was cheap as balls so I let it go. We also went to dinner with sohos other aunty and uncle who were super nice and bought us bad chocolate but the dinner was good. We drove soho to the airport at super early in the morning and said bye. He’s lame. We went later that day but not before having more food and drink on aunty wendo. The night bus was busy, had a baby on it and repeated the same film as last time so it was pretty shit so we were happy to get of where we spent the morning sleeping and watching movies.

Now been in Melbourne for a week and it’s been pretty tame. We have done loads of job searching and after some pretty strange interviews, a scary kitchen hand trial, two skipped interviews, a scam and the lamest job ever stopping people in the street we’ve only heard back from one. A job for amnesty imternatinal knocking on doors. We gonna give it a go for a week. We also bumped into noel fielding (by ‘bumped into’ I mean we hid round the corner and spied on him) went and got wasted with our Canadian friends from cairns and played giant Jenga, went for breakfast with them to say bye, ate tex mex, went to a 5 dolla second hand cloths sale, developed a hatred for our roommate, read shitloads, watched shitloads, Overheard an old man flirt with young guys in the library, remembered a moustache,

So we gave the amnesty job a go and it was pretty eventful. Sav made a 20 dolla sale on the first day, her only sale of the week, we spent a lot of time being ignored, being yelled at, talking about rape. Save got a poem and a bottle of pop off a strange man on her birthday. We spent an hour talking to a crazy drunk lady till she went off to yell at some builders. Met some cool people, met some sucky people. Some guy just wanted to talk about breasts, knocked on some doors. Did a lot of nothing when the team leader was away, finally got a 40 dolla sale on the last day. Then sav got told she was getting the sack but he was laughing so we assumed it was a joke, didn’t find out till we got of the train that he was serious. I quit the next day. Savs birthday on Thursday so I pop up partied her bunk with streamers and shit. Celebrated on Saturday she drunk good cider and I had some beers and goon. Met some lame people drunk in there room, hit a club, lost the lame people and hit up ding dongs which was amazing as usual. Got drunk made friends came home.

Sunday was spent in bed recovering and eating nandos in the evening. Monday was spent quoting the job, buying afl tickets, eating a huge burrito and in turn winning a Mexican wrestling mask and playing bingo where I won the top prize of vodka and steak!!! Probably the best day of travelling so far. We now have two weeks with nothing planned in Melbourne till we head to Adelaide for aunty wendos wedding and then we’re thinking off to Thailand so we should probably plan that in the next few weeks.

Friday I spent drinking heaps of coffee and reading Lord of the rings. We also found something going on in FedSquare so we watched that. It consisted of some young terrible singing girl dancing with bad back up dancers. A little later someone asked us to sign something as they were filming a tv show called ‘dance mums’ and we were the audience. (Since, we have watched dance mums and it is as terrible as we had thought). We played more Nintendo. That night ray took us to a really posh bar 55 levels above the city. It was heaps high and the view was sweet. We only got one drink each as it was super exspenny. But worth it for the view and the old fashion was pretty good. We ended our night at ding dong. A sort of indie club that played some amazing music. I left and little is know what happened to me after but it included being sick down my own leg.

We spent the following day in bed dying, eating crisps, drinking milkshake. We finally left the room to eat a nandos then returned to bed. Sunday stuff was happeing in fed square, me and sav made big samari hats origami style. We blew huge bubbles. Played games in movie museum, played more Nintendo. Me and soho shared a family kfc meal. Killed us. We then got on our overnight bus to Adelaide. We got a movie too 'oblivion’. It was pretty average but was a nice touch. I slept.

Sohos cuz picked us up and took us for pancakes that were sweet. We spent the day sleeping and woke up for dinner with his family. It was spagbowl and was amazing. So far it’s been pretty sweet hit we spent it exploring the city chilling out on there farm, eating crazy amounts of food, drinking heaps of beer, speedboating up the murry river for lunch, going to the top of mount lofty to look over the city and eat cake, shopping, playing pool and hitting the town with sohos cousins, checking out the beach having some amazing ice cream, checking out the waterfall gully where sav fell over a little waterfall onto her ass, and I ate some sweet cream tea and going to victor harbour to see the Penguins but only seeing one.

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Bedfor we left Airlie beach we got some creepy sick chicken wings, they were tight! Our journey to magnetic island was fine and the ferry was a nice change to coaches. When we got there I wasn’t in the best mood so I hit up the beach and got drunk while reading my book and developing LOTR drinking game. Then came back to the other two and double dinnered. Great day!

The following day we hit up the koala sanctuary where we held koalas and snakes and crocodiles and fed parrots from our mouths. The afterwords we fed the wild parrots and there was shit loads on our hands arems shoulders and heads. We had an amazing pork belly burger and ended the night with me and soho entering and underwear race to win 50 bucks. Soho came second, I was near the back and got taken out. I don’t know why,

We tried to get a car the next day but couldn’t so we organised our stuff drunk beer and played in the pool. We managed to get a barbie car the next day and it was pretty sweet. We drove around the island. Won a load of magnums. Did some snorkelling but couldn’t see shit. Got the ferry back to Townsville where I got all you can eat chillie and had a night out with 3 dolla spirits because it was some student town. Hit up an Irish bar and some tavern and some club. Sweet night.

Next day I got a wicked deal on a skateboard so we used that. Went to McDonald’s, saw a shit tone of Abbos. Then in the evening we went to see 50 shades of grey, it was brillitant, he’ll loads of tits. The girl was pretty over the top pathetic but that disapired 30 minuets in and they only went in his sex room twice. Then she freaked out and pissed me off. Stupid butch needs to learn her place.

Moved to cairns the next day on our final greyhound at least for a while. Cairns is party town and that’s pretty much all we’ve done. We got a super cheap half a chicken meal.. Save got free champagne and we got wasted on 2 for 1 drinks. The next day we were hungover and only went out to get goon and savs contacts. The night was more drinking and playing card games with our Irish and Danish room mates, very drunk blacked out. More being hungover and only went out to get Burger King and sort my phone out. Then early to bed for rafting the next day.

Rafting was amazing. Pretty scary especially when the first Rapids was pretty rough and half the boat stopped paddling so we went straight into a rock where I had to pull a guy back onto the boat and the guide explained that we nearly flipped the boat. Lots of crazy Rapids and also some small ones where we floated along in the water. A quick lunch then more Rapids, it was over far too quick. Our guide was crazy and hilarious made for a great trip. That night I stayed up watching adventure time till 1.

The next day sav and soho went skydiving and I spent the day walking around town, there fuck all to do here other than getting wasted so that’s what we did when they got back. Next day we went on a dijarido hunt and spent hours trying to send it home. More drinking games in our room with Irish and new Canadian girls and we got told off by security for having alcohol.

Today I’ve been hungover, bought plane tickets, wrote this and wrote postcards, that is all. Scuba diving tomorrow if the cyclone goes away it should be sweet.

So a cyclone hit and our boat to the reef got canceled which was hella balls so I spent the day watching more adventure time and spent the evening getting drunk with our Canadian room mates. The next day we hit up the market for some veg that we were desperately lacking also bought some clippers as they were the same price as a hair cut. Sav shaved the sides of my head. We got wasted again that night with room mates and hit the clubs! Went to one where they were dancing on the tables, they seem to like it out here. Saw a wet tshirt contest, hella boobs.

Then we had to rearrange our boat and flights, which cost us 70 dolla. Lame. The rest of the day in a hammock cafe playing chess and cooking sweet sweet thi food. Then I was kept up all night by the couple above me banging. At one point her bra slipt through the crack into my pillow. The nerds were messaging me a lot and I think my out loud laughter put them off a little, so that helped. Following day the storm finally left so we hit up the lagoon all day and some little art gallery.

We finally got to the reef and it was amazing, snorkelling was sweet and scuba diving was a bit freaky as they give you little to no lead up. You get a small talk and next thing you know your in the water but you soon get used to it and it was amazing. We saw shit loads of fish, clams, turtles, sharks and ‘barry’ the barracuda.

Flight down to Melbourne was a little sketchy as our bags were heaps over weight so it meant digging through our stuff and tacking two carry ons before we could board. for St Patrick’s day and some guiness. Imperial, Elephant and wheelbarrow. Free hats free shirts. More goon in our room and then a night of mine sweeping in our local club. A morning of sleeping followed then we met up with ray for a pub crawl starting by the river, checking in on some cool roof top bars including one with stuffed giraffe and ostrich. Then over to the night market for dinner. Cool day.

Yesterday we went to the nitendo shop to play wii and sav managed to get a life sized teddy yoda for a dolla she don’t deserve him she has no idea who he is. We got free milkshakes, I had some amazing coffee. We went to a sort of cinema museum that was pretty cool. They had some sweet interactive games, like shadow puppets, pong and wii tennis mixed, and a strange war propaganda movie. The day ended with free spag Bol and super cheap donuts Great day.

–..-.–

Our second day In Airlie Beach was spent sleeping in and chilling at the lagoon. The weather is getting crazy warm here now days so lots of time spent in water because we can’t handle much else. We went out that night with our Irish pals drunk lots of goon and spent the night mine sweeping like a king. Great night ended in kebabs and pie so can’t complain. Also found 20 bucks.

More sleeping in the next day and more time at the lagoon the water is getting warmer each day and it is not a welcome change. We ended our day by drinking more goon and bbqing on the beach some kick ass sausages and sweet sweet coleslaw. We wanted to hit up some outdoor cinema on the beach but could not find it.

We was up reasonably early the following morning to check out the markets. We bought some cheap crap including patches for my backpack and a DIY ear piercing kit. The rest of the day was at the lagoon with water close to bath temperature. We drunk goon in our room that night enough to work up the courage for the ear piercing which went fine (sav clamped it on my lobe and squeezed it till it shot through) except the ear ring in the kit was a shitty massive diamond which I was then stuck with. We drunk at the bar with our Aussie pal Vincent who taught sav some ‘bogan Australian’. Got more drunk hit some clubs and stole a lot of drinks. Good night.

Next day was some shopping for a decent earring which I ended up stealing because I didn’t want a hole shitty 6 set for one earring. More swimming In the hot lagoon. In the evening sheho went out for chicken wings and amazing food and I made noodles with cheese on toast from the free shelf and also two well nice ciders. I obviously won.

The next we went to a little beach with a net so you could swim there. There’s too many jellys and sharks to swim in the sea this high up. More hot lagoon. And a chilled night of packing for our whitsudays trip. The next afternoon we was on the bus to the clipper, our home for the next two nights. We sailed out to a secluded spot where we used the slide and jumping platforms for a couple of hours, dressed in stinger suits that have to be worn because of the jellys. After that we had a big fish dinner and played some drinking games with our fellow boaters. Till I passed out and got put to bed.

The next day we were up at 6:30 for breakfast. We spent some time sailing to the White sandy beach which was crazy white and the water was crazy clear and relaxed there for a couple of hours, then we sailed to a sweet snorkelling spot on the edge of the Great Barrier Reef. Saw loads of cool fish especially the parrot fish then back to the boat where they cracked out the massive 10 meter slide which we used along with the jumping platforms. We sailed some more and drunk more cider and the weather was amazing while a guy told us some useless facts. After dinner we relaxed on the top deck and watched Dolphins hunting at the side of our boat, was cool. Then we played some party games drunk more, fancy dress, blacked out. Got to bed around ¾.

Up early for more snorkelling and more jumping and sliding from the boat.mwe the headed back to mainland where we slept all day only to wake up for pizza and a big out door cinema playing 'bounty hunter’ (a pretty bad film but easy to watch when hungover) then straight back to bed. An amazing trip but super tiering.

Today we’ve been at the lagoon again because it’s been so hot, also down our washing ready for our move to magnetic island and the koala sanctuary tomorrow.

In a bizzle my nizzle

Aunty Alex was a babe and drove us all the way to noosa where we explored a little went shopping and got invited to another hostel for a party. The hostel was amp,zing like a cool bar. Fire torches and strange fiddle band. We drunk goon out of a backpack and had a great night. The next day we went to book things from an absolute dick turd. Who acted like a twat when I said we didn’t want to book something. We played on canoes in the evening and rowed out to a sand bank. The river is hunge but real shallow you could walk across probably.

The next day we had to go back to dick turd to get our tickets and book more things. He was less dick turducken and let us use the electric bikes. We checked out the beach it was lame. Then me and soho went on a stupidly massive nature walk but saw the gates of hell and found a pool in the rocks that we swam in and jumper into. We were racing the light out of the trees but got back just before pitch dark.

The next day we canoed up the Everglades listening to Jamie t.mit was super hard because of the wind but we made it in a few hours. We swam in the water that was hella brown like swimming in a cup of tea. We had a bbq lunch with some losers. Pretty good. Spent the night drinking goon then to a club with some people we bumped into and made friends with. Next day me and soho canoed round the rivers and jumped off a bridge that was super high and had a double Big Mac to cure the hangover.

Then we moved up to rainbow beach which is tiny and there are no rainbows . We went to the beach, drunk beers and ate noodles. More beach the next day and a safety talk for our trip to fraiser Island. The talk consisted of a man full of bull shit telling us different ways we were gonna die and a video with some of the worst acting ever seen. We ate noodles, drunk beer, watched karaoke.

The next day up early for our trip I started driving the jeep. It was easy and cool, it wobbled a lot on the sand but it was fine. We went to see some massive sand dunes and another dirty lake but it was a hot long walk so the lake was amazing. In the evening I was appointed chef and leader of our 8 man car so that was fun. We cooked a stir fry it was easy and every one seemed to enjoy it. I spent the night playing drinking games around a fire eating yoghurts and getting wasted. The Stars looked amazing like I’ve never seen them that clear it was so cool. We went to the beach to look at them. I passed out in my tent.

Our car consisted of
Marky mark - swis/ger old dad kind of guy but also a little bit of an idiot. Nice enough.
Steph spence - ger didn’t get her real name didn’t care. Annoying, ate a lot of food. Every time she spoke to me it was about her next meal.
Freddy/Fred/Rico/Ricky/Rick- ger subtly hilarious, too poor to drink. Good lad. 18 taught us German swear words. ‘Footsa’ 'shlumpé’
Pair of sweeds - swis fit, good taste in music, good laugh. Talk a lot. Bad drivers. 20

Next day we went to a lazy river in the trees it was super clear you floated a bit but it was cool floating through the trees. Real cold. We also went the the champagne pools where the waves crash into a rock pool. It was cool we swam. The we went up a cliff called Indian point it was pretty much the same as any sea cliff. The night me and soho blacked out pretty early from sharing a bag of goon. We were with the sweeds and played drinking games. I fell a lot on the way to the beach.

Next day was another early start and a trip to a crazy clear lake with white sand. It looked amazing no photos because my phone died. The trip was in the back of our guides car, I preferred it because I didn’t want to drive but I wanted a good driver cuz hangovers. Swimming was so nice, cuz it was super hot. Back to our hostel. Went out for pizza with some other hostelers, some cool Irish and Canadians and Fredo. Split goon between 4 got real drunk. Went to hostel drunk more. Went to some guys house drunk more had a laugh, passed out, got drawn on, came home.

Up today for a fry up and our coach to agnes water, 1770 and scooter roo.

Agnes water hostel is okay, we watched django unchained all night. Up the next day booking stuff and in the afternoon we hit up scooter roo. Where they gave us leather jackets fake tattoos and little motorbikes to ride around town on, got some cool wedges and saw some kangaroos, great day. Finished it with some beers with the Irish and a open mike night that was actually pretty good, jazz flute and all. Got a ride back with a wasted bus driver and some wasted locals.

Next day was spent reading, watching movies and doing washing. An early night followed by a surfing lesson attended by me and soho. This was not the hardest thing in the world. Riding it I’m was easier than skateboarding manly because the wave does all the pushing and the standing up was quick to pick up. The real trouble came when fighting the waves and the wind to get out there, it was killer and no wonder surfers are ripped because I was feeling it the next day. Came home to find sav had made us a kick ass picknick which was sweet. Drunk goon forgot the night.

Pancake day was spent doing nothing crazy we had to wait till 9 for our night bus so we played games watched movies. Ate some amazing pancakes, took a trip to the beach. The night bus sucked because it was full and I couldn’t get much sleep in my Isle seat.

We got to airlie beach this morning ate McDonald’s, checked in, dossed by the pool and that’s pretty much it. We’re here close to a week before our whitsunday trip but it looks like a party town so will probably enjoy. Maybe.

Lates lates lates

We had planned ahead for the day after Australia Day and knew we would be hanging. Which meant a day by the pool playing pool and eating cookies. Soho also made us watch terrible terrible blood diamond.

Day 29
Was spent at australia zoo. We had to get up hella early for the coach but was worth it when we got there because it was dead and hardly filled up all day. Australia zoo is great, highlights; stroking enchiladas, stroking koalas, feeding kangaroos, massive crocodiles, massive crocodile show. Also got a photo with a little croc and Steve. Not the real one p, he’s dead, just a statue. Had a look at the animal hospital was pretty lame but I suppose they like to do good. Finished the day with dominos.

The next day we sorted out our Whitsunday trip and our fraiser Island one. It was spenny but is gonna be amazing. Aunty Alex came and got us and took us up to bribie Island traffic was crazy but the island is amazing. Uncle John took us on a walk down to the beach where we saw a big ass stingray. Chilled in the pool that night and had a kick ass dinner. The next day aunty Alex gave us a tour of the island and showed us the best beaches. We spent the afternoon by the pool and had steak for dinner. We went to see bats but none showed up. Dicks.

We went up passed the glass house mountains for some sweet views and a rainforest walk where we saw a wallaby and all kinds of weird birds. On the way back she took us to see kangaroos. One massive one was eyeing me up for a fight. And on the way out we saw Pelicans. Me and soho went for a bike ride to the bottle shop but they were all closed . Nice bike ride though sun was setting and shit.

Next day we spent at the beach swimming and shit. Then that night went to hunt down the bats and saw a few, they were massive. Like flying foxes, that’s probably why they call them that. Had a bbq and drunk quite a few beers and card games.

Today was dedicated to planning as we’re heading up to noosa tomorrow. We also did some washing. A lot of pool time and a bike ride in the afternoon to do some kick ass jetty jumping which was totally kick ass and we saw some Dolphins. Spaghetti bolognese for dinner which is the perfect last meal here.

Bribie Island has been amazing, like a rehab from dirty hostels and 30 cent noodles. But travelling waits for no man and its onwards and upwards. Up the coast anyways.

Final thought.
Australia say g'day as a greeting but if they wanted to say ‘see you later and have a good day’ would they say 'see you later and have a g'day’

Latez